If you can meet with joy, please cherish it!
there is such a story that one day, an eminent monk called his disciples to sit around a room.
the disciple was stunned and saw the eminent monk write four questions on the wall: 2, 2, 4, 4, 4, 8, 8, 8, 16, 9, 9, 9, 19.
after reading this, the disciples said one after another, "Master, you have made a mistake."
the eminent monk looked up leisurely and said, "Yes, you can see very clearly." I have miscalculated this question, but the first three are all right. Why does no one see it and just stare at my miscalculated one? "
in fact, the same is true between people, no matter how many times you treated him a thousand times before, as long as he didn't meet his expectations once, he will ruthlessly obliterate all your previous efforts.
this is the principle of human nature of 100-1: 0!
because I am used to getting it, I take it for granted and forget to be grateful.
because you are used to having it, you get used to it and forget to cherish it.
because he is used to receiving, he takes whatever he wants and forgets to give.
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most of the time, we always hope that the true feelings we give can be loved as treasures. But in fact, the world is never fair, not all hearts can be exchanged for sincerity, and not everyone understands the word Thanksgiving.
so understand that sincerity should be left to people who are worthy of it.
never be too nice to a person
there is a word in psychology called "Beber's Law". When applied to feelings, it means
if you are only unilaterally kind to a person, you will not only get no thanks from the other person, but also make him accustomed to it, and even ask for too much, squeezing your efforts even harder.
in the Notes of the Scarecrow, the writer Sanmao recorded such a thing when he was studying in France.
before leaving, her family repeatedly told her:
be patient with everything when you are away from home, take care of the people around you, and think more from the point of view of others. It's no big deal to suffer a little loss.
Sanmao kept in mind his parents' advice that he was friendly and gentle, and often took the initiative to help roommates clean and even make beds.
however, roommates are not as grateful as they thought. On the contrary, they take advantage of Sanmao's true feelings and wantonly direct Sanmao to do the dirty work.
in the face of the increasingly excessive demands of the roommates, Sanmao gave in step by step and tried his best to satisfy him. But can this kind of pay really get the truth?
the answer is no. During a bedtime check, Sanmao, who was well-behaved, was misunderstood by the dean, but none of her roommates stood up to speak for her. Instead, she fell to the bottom of the well.
Sanmao understood at that moment that not all the good things could be exchanged for emotional truth. finally, she chose to move out of the dormitory.
Yes, when maintaining a relationship, we are always used to thinking of others and responding to every request. Think that if you pay in this way, you can let others see your sincerity.
but in fact, once you give too much, others will only get used to it until they are numb, and no one will cherish it for a long time.
you have to understand that not all places in one's shoes can be exchanged for sincerity, and not all tolerance and understanding can be exchanged for honesty.
the tighter the sand is grasped, the faster it will be lost, and it will not be cherished if it is too good for one. Only when the injured body is full of injuries will you find that your heart is only a show of affection in the eyes of some people.
in the emotional world, it is difficult to stand alone. Don't waste time and energy on people who are not worth it. Let go of the feelings you can't get.
Tea ceremony masters are well aware of the truth of dissatisfaction with tea, because it is not only disrespectful to others, but also easier to burn themselves.
always remember that lovers love seven points, need to leave three points to love themselves, so that you do not lose.
there is a measure of being a man, and a degree of kindness
once upon a time, there were two neighbors, one poor and the other rich, who got along well with each other.
one year because of the severe drought, there was no harvest in the field. The poor had no harvest, so they had to lie down and wait to die.
because the rich are rich, they spend a lot of money to store a lot of food. thinking of their neighbors, they sent a liter of rice to the poor, saving the whole family's life.
the poor family is filled with joy and vows to repay them when the days get better.
before long, the sky fell nectar, the days of suffering were over, and the poor went to thank the rich.
after thanking, the rich man understood the difficulties of his neighbor's family and said generously, "I still have some grain here. Take a bucket and plant it next year."
the poor family said goodbye gratefully with grain, went home and told the family about it, but the wife said mockingly after hearing this:
dismiss beggars? Besides eating, what can this bucket of rice do? The rich man is too stingy, so it's really bad that he only gives us a little food if he has the money.
this word spread to the rich man's ears, he was very angry, but also do not understand why he gave so much food for nothing, not only did not receive thanks, but also won the title of bad guy.
as a result, the two families who had a good relationship became enemies and had no contact with each other.
is the story of "fighting rice to nourish grace, carrying rice to raise hatred".
A small kindness nourishes a noble man, and a great kindness nourishes an enemy. It is the same truth to be kind to others.
if you dare to be good without a bottom line, others will dare to be bad and unscrupulous.
blindly indiscriminately giving will only encourage the greed of others, give unreservedly, will only spoil others' progress, and raise a "white-eyed wolf" that bites the hand that feeds the hand that feeds you.
as said in the movie the Godfather: softness without boundaries will only make the other party gain an inch; kindness without principles will only allow the other party to do as he pleases.
Don't think that the story of the farmer and the snake is far away from us. There is no shortage of people who repay good for evil like snakes.
they have no conscience, no morality, and only interests in their hearts. They only do what is good for themselves and do everything for themselves. To put it bluntly, they are selfish.
your kindness to him will become a sharp knife for him to hurt you if you are not careful.
when you meet such ungrateful and ungrateful people, you quickly put away your kindness, because they don't deserve it.
there is no right or wrong for kindness, but you can get into trouble by using the wrong person, losing money or life.
therefore, your kindness needs some sharpness.
good intentions should be left to those who show gratitude, and sincerity should be left to those who are affectionate and righteous.
No matter how ingenious fate is, it can't stand perfunctory prevarication, and no matter how deep feelings are, they are afraid of being taken for granted.
there is no love for no reason, no giving for no reason.
learn to be grateful and understand Shi En in order to enjoy the joy of life; know how to cherish your heart and deserve to be spoiled.
the luckiest thing in the world is that when you really give back to others, they will give you all the best.
if you can meet happily, please cherish it!