Life has been in the world for decades, to be able to marry each other is the fate of a lifetime.
not long ago, a group of divorced big data scanned the screen on moments.
display according to the data content:
in the past year, a total of 9.471 million couples were registered for marriage and 4.154 million for divorce, with a divorce ratio as high as 43.8%! Moreover, this number is increasing year by year.
Why is it that life gets better and better, but it becomes more and more difficult to grow old?
I think this is an inescapable problem for every married couple.
in fact, running a marriage is a lifetime of spiritual practice, which depends on the common maintenance of two people.
want to have a long marriage, these points must not be ignored!
three values are more important than facial features
have read such a sentence:
the facial features determine whether you can be together, and the three values determine whether you are likely to go on.
I think so.
perhaps the love at first sight in love depends on the appearance, but the firewood, rice and salt in marriage is inseparable from the three values.
in the recent hit TV series "settling down", there is such a plot that many people are impressed.
in the play, Gong Beibei and her husband Liu Sili, played by Haiqing, originally had a satisfactory marriage, but they had a big fight because of the problem of buying a house.
Gong Beibei wants to buy a two-bedroom apartment, away from her parents-in-law, and live alone with her husband and children. But Liu Sili did not understand: children let their parents take them, there are hot meals and hot food at home, such a comfortable day, why?
the contradiction that has been overstocked for a long time broke out, and the gap between the two people's values was also highlighted.
it turned out that Gong Beibei longed for flowers and romance to live alone, while Liu Sili was full of fuel and salt.
the more they quarreled, the worse they became. Gong Beibei dug up her old debts and angrily complained to her husband:
"when you get home every day, you ask those questions. How was the boss in kindergarten today?" Did number two pull the stink? Is your mother's blood pressure high? Is there enough money to buy snacks? "
these tedious and trivial routines exhausted Gong Beibei's patience. This is not the life she wants.
but Liu Sili feels extremely aggrieved: isn't that what life is like?
Yes, your ideal life is like this, my ideal life is like that. If we go on like this, what will collide with each other will definitely not be a spark, but the smoke of gunpowder that will destroy the marriage.
how difficult is it for couples with different values?
you took great pains to plan a candlelight dinner, and he not only didn't appreciate it, but also scolded you for wasting money.
you happily bought two tickets for the play, and he didn't bother to watch it with you and said it was boring.
when you take him abroad for a trip, he swears all the way and says he might as well watch TV at home.
perhaps different personalities can complement each other, emotional discord can be cultivated, but disagreements between the three values will eventually lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
No matter how talented and good-looking she is at first, she will only become a fool in the end.
it is more important to know you than to love you
maybe every relationship starts with love, but you will soon understand that love is not enough in a marriage.
think about it:
if there is such a person, he loves you deeply, but he can't read between the lines or read your joys and sorrows. Every time you get along with him, you are like a chicken talking to a duck, so, are you still willing to go on with him for the rest of your life?
I always think that in marriage, it is more important to know you than to love you.
A person named
girl, said her mother likes to collect coffee cups.
but my father still doesn't understand my mother's hobbies. Cups look alike. What is there to buy?
later, her parents divorced and her mother made a new boyfriend, who built a wall to display her mother's coffee cup.
people who understand you will not dislike your hobbies, they will understand your difficulties and tolerate your temper.
he understands your stubbornness and duplicity.
he knows what words will make you happy and what things will hurt you.
being with someone who understands you is always the most comfortable and purest.
has always liked Tony Leung Chao-Wei and Carina Lau very much, but their personalities are actually completely different.
Tony Leung loves quietness, likes to stay quietly after filming, and on a whim will fly to London Square to feed pigeons.
Carina Lau is very active and often takes part in all kinds of social activities, sometimes not even at home.
Carina Lau understands Tony Leung's isolation, so she will do all the chores in life and help him block unnecessary social activities. Even the wedding between them is handled by Carina Lau, and Tony Leung only needs to play the role of the bridegroom.
and Tony Leung also understands Carina Lau's liveliness. He respects her way of life very much, always supports her to do what he wants to do, and even says bluntly that if his wife is unhappy in the show business, he can give up everything and accompany her to leave.
is precisely because of this understanding, let them in the entertainment industry ups and downs for decades, still maintain the original heart of love.
you don't have to pretend to be yourself in front of people who know you.
he knows your joys and sorrows, as well as your warmth.
all your joys and sorrows, can be properly placed by him, all your wayward nonsense, will be gentle and tolerant by him.
when you are with him, you can be yourself as much as you want. This is the most comfortable marriage relationship.
patience is more important than choice
have seen a wonderful conversation:
some people ask the old couple who have been married for 50 years, what is the secret of staying together until they grow old?
the husband replied, "be patient!"
the wife said, "No, it's four words. Put up with it again and again!"
Yes, a long marriage also means long patience.
Vibrant white ball gowns low We have cuts and forms to fit any silhouette.
everyone has inherent flaws, especially under the same roof, the shortcomings and disadvantages are infinitely magnified.
at this time, instead of putting up sharp thorns on his body, it is better to put up with temporary discontent and look forward to long-term happiness.
in the movie mind Hunter, there is a very warm clip.
Dr. Thorne mentioned a small detail when he talked about his dead wife.
his wife has the disadvantage of being an outsider, that is, she always farts when she falls asleep.
and even the wife herself doesn't know this.
once, she made such a loud noise that she woke herself up. And she just asked her husband in bewilderment: what was that sound? Is that the dog outside barking?
Dr. Thorne nodded without denying that he didn't have the heart to embarrass his wife, so he was willing to put up with these small flaws.
in fact, there is no absolutely perfect person in the world. When blaming each other, who can guarantee that they have no shortcomings?
if you blindly magnify your shortcomings, your marriage will be dragged into the quagmire sooner or later. Only by being patient and accepting each other gladly can you have true fulfillment and happiness.
in the final analysis, the truth of marriage is never 1-2, but 0.5-0.5-1.
after entering the marriage hall, everyone has to throw away half of themselves to accommodate half of each other.
therefore, edges and corners can be avoided, otherwise, they will hurt each other as well as themselves.
face shortcomings, be patient, face defects, and be tolerant.
over time, you will find that your marriage becomes impregnable in patience.
there is a line in the lost lover:
"it's a real tragedy that two people love each other but can't run a marriage."
people have been alive for decades, and it is the fate of a lifetime to marry each other.
therefore, please be sure to manage well and cherish it.
May you be tolerant, understanding, patient, and embrace long-term happiness with the one you love for the rest of your life.