May you be kind to your family and live your own life.
I have seen such a sentence in a book, and I think it is quite reasonable:
"A good temper outside may just be smooth in dealing with the world;
A good mood at home is the real accomplishment that goes deep into the bone marrow. "
I have seen too many people, grumpy to their relatives, kind to outsiders, and two faces at home and out:
people are kind and polite in front of people-- the left sentence is sorry, the right sentence is fine;
the queen is a different person-less polite, less polite, and sometimes less respectful.
Why do we always show our best to outsiders who have nothing to do with us, but leave the worst to our loved ones who love us the most?
the reason for this is not complicated, but carefully speaking, it is a bit heart-wrenching.
be friendly to others, because no one is spoiled
recently, there is a video on the Internet.
A man in his 40s clutched a teenager and questioned him over and over again in Qujing, Yunnan Province:
"do you apologize?"
when the teenager wanted to struggle, the man grabbed his hand and pressed him impolitely.
it turned out that just a moment ago, the teenager was punching and kicking his mother in the street.
the man couldn't stand it, so he stopped it and asked him to apologize to his mother.Next to him, the teenager's mother leaned against the telephone pole, covering her face and crying bitterly.
seeing this, the man pointed to the boy's mother and yelled at him: "I'll ask you again, do you apologize?"
maybe no one has ever done this to him before, and the teenager finally knows to be afraid--
first he nodded gently to the man, and then timidly said to his mother:
"Mom, I was wrong!"
many people shouted happily when they saw this.
it is true to say that "most of the horizontal people in the nest are pussy outside".
from the punching and kicking of the mother to the amiability in the face of men later, it is just because no one is used to it.
Why are most people polite to outsiders?
because they know very well--
outsiders will not forgive their own mistakes, tolerate their temper, let alone take into account their own feelings and care about their own thoughts.
give them cold words in exchange for not understanding, but full of disgust;
when you get angry at them, you don't get pacification, but a heavy hammer.In other words, they are friendly to others because no one is used to them.
be rude to your relatives, because you have nothing to fear
some time ago, my friend Fang Qian suddenly posted a moments:
"I'm too tired to have you for the rest of my life. That's it. One parting and two forgiveness will make each one happy. "
I asked her what was wrong.
she told me that she and her husband of three years had divorced and had just finished the formalities yesterday.
I was shocked to hear the news: Fang Qian's husband is a good husband recognized by us--
he has a good temper and has never blushed with anyone since he became acquainted.
he is kind to people and will try his best to ask him for help in everything.
when a good friend was with him, he once sighed from the bottom of his heart:
"he is like a gentle light that shines softly on all the people around him."
I was about to persuade my friend to calm down, but unexpectedly, she spoke first:
"you don't have to persuade me, I really can't stand it."... "
"despite the fact that he is kind to outsiders and looks like a good old man, this is not the case when facing me and my family...."
"after three years of marriage, he often gets angry outside, and when he comes home, he takes it out on me. Whenever something goes wrong, he gets angry with his family."
"Last month, I asked him why he did this to me, but unexpectedly, he threw me a sentence, 'because you are my wife, so you should put up with me!'"
I am deeply saddened to hear this.
you see, relationships between people are sometimes so cruel that there is no fairness at all.
all the feelings in the world: if you have a family, you have nothing to fear.
so, of all intimate relationships, the biggest mistake we tend to make is--
obviously be favored, but adept at failing the lover who firmly chooses himself;
is obviously tolerant, but he is used to being critical of all his relatives who understand him everywhere.
A person's greatest disaster:
be kind to others and lose your temper with your relatives
A foreign research institute once did a survey: emotional management and family problems.
they conducted a series of tracking and interviews with 1000 families over a period of six months.
the results of the survey show that more than half of family problems are caused by improper emotional management.
that is to say, if you can leave the good mood to your loved ones, there will be half less chicken and dog jumping in your home.
writer Zhou Guoping has a famous saying:
"it is instinct to be critical of those close to you, but it is a kind of upbringing to overcome your instinct and not to be critical of those close to you."
how many people always greet each other with a friendly and smiling face when they see an outsider, but always speak coldly and turn a cold eye to their relatives?
how many people are polite and modest outside?Poor polite gentleman and lady, at home has become irascible, domineering, insolent villain shrew.
they do not know that if they are always friendly to outsiders, outsiders will gain an inch; if they are always rude to their loved ones, they will be sad and cold.
they do not understand that a person's greatest disaster is to be kind to outsiders and lose his temper with his relatives.
but people who are really good are the same outside and at home.
there is such a dialogue in the Analects of Confucius, which still sounds enlightening:
Zi Xia asked Confucius: "what is the most difficult thing to achieve filial piety?"
Confucius answered only two words: "Color is difficult."
being kind to the person closest to you is the most rare accomplishment for an adult.
No matter how deep the feelings are, you can't help spending the day.
No matter how close the relationship is, you can't beat the indifference year after year.
when you are alive, you don't have to please your family, but you must treat them attentively.
leave the best temper to the person closest to you for the rest of your life
Lu Yongfeng, known as "Chinese brand alchemist", has a life motto:
"Don't bring home the dust in your heart."
when he first started his business, he ran around every day, doing market research, writing activity plans, and setting the direction of the brand.
in order to serve his clients well, he often stays up late and works overtime. It is normal to work until the wee hours of the morning, and it is even more common to eat irregularly.
gradually, mountain pressure and surging emotions followed.
but every time he comes home, he always takes a five-minute rest in the car and adjusts his negative emotions before going upstairs.
he always smiles in the face of his wife and daughter, no matter how stressed he is.
in the face of his family, no matter how bad the mood is, he always has a pleasant face.
A friend asked him, "Why do you never lose your temper at home?"
Lu Yongfeng replied:
"Home is a comfort zone for love and warmth, not a dustbin for stress and emotion."
the dust on the soles of your feet should be left outside the house, and so should the dust in your heart. "
it is true that only by digesting stress and emotions outside the door can one keep the peace inside the door.
what you look like when you face your family is what you look like mentally.
and your mental appearance is the best feng shui in life.
people, remember at all times:
leave the best mood at home and the best temper to the person closest to you.
things change, life is like a dream, in the twinkling of an eye, it is a life.
A long way of life, where there is a home, there is warmth;
if you have a family, you are not alone.
May you be polite outside and at home for the rest of your life;
May you be kind to your family and live your life.
, share with your friends.