Kneeling parents can never raise a standing child.
say a bad thing.
some time ago, my mother accompanied her cousin and brought her cousin, who had just reached the age of 12, to the provincial capital to see a doctor and lived in my house.
my cousin's family is poor. I heard that my cousin often has a stomachache and did not find out the cause of the disease in his hometown.
I specially went to the province of traditional Chinese medicine to give them an expert number to help them in and out of the hospital.
but the next scenes made me chill.
I went to the hospital to do all kinds of tests, but I didn't tell you what was wrong.
my cousin looks "weak" in front of his aunt, but he becomes active as soon as he turns around.
either browse the video with my mobile phone or ask me to play games on my computer.
I refused him, and he went to his cousin to cry.
what makes me speechless is that I have to wait on my cousin to eat and drink water, and when I am unhappy, I lose my temper.
I told my mother in private that my cousin was not sick at all.
the mother said helplessly that she had talked to her cousin a long time ago and could see that the child pretended to be ill and played truant.
but my cousin will be anxious with anyone who says the child is bad.
my cousin gave birth to a child in her old age and gave birth to a baby in her forties. I can understand her feeling that she is afraid of melting in her mouth and afraid of falling in the palm of her hand.
but it's hard for me to imagine what this 12-year-old boy would look like to live in such a honeypot.
A few days later, my cousin left with the hospital examination report.
at first I thought that my cousin knew the result and that there would be some changes when I went back.
but it was a phone call from my mother that my cousin had dropped out of school.
Why do you want to shake the "family ugliness" with you today?
because in just one week, I saw two angry and distressing videos.
the first story takes place in Jiamusi City, Heilongjiang Province.
an old man was pressed hard on the sofa by a middle-aged woman.
the woman slapped the old man in the face while shouting "sign it for me".
the old man is unable to resist.
in the meantime, someone came to dissuade her, but the woman continued to commit violence.
soon, the identity of the parties was exposed by the media.
the old woman is a retired worker who is 79 years old this year.
the beater turned out to be her own daughter.
according to people familiar with the matter:
"the mother has transferred all the houses to her daughter, and the daughter wants her mother to hand over her salary card deposit, or she will beat her mother."
moreover, this is not the first time, "every violence is because of money."
the second comes from a report in thepaper.cn on November 19.
in an iPhone store.
the boy tore his mother's hair ferociously and hit his mother on the head with his fist.
after being hugged by his mother, he even kicked his mother in the stomach.
others were dumbfounded, thinking that something big had happened.
but the boy said coldly, "if you don't buy a cell phone, I'll kill you!"
the mother didn't have the slightest anger when she heard this, but kept begging her child to stop hitting herself.
Chinese people often say, "filial piety comes first."
but I don't know since when, beating and scolding their parents doesn't seem to be news.
is the world too crazy, or are we training a pack of white-eyed wolves?
after the news of a Heilongjiang woman beating her mother was posted on the hot search, I went to read the netizens' messages.
in addition to the condemnation of righteous indignation and the heartache that can not bear to look directly at it, some people also sent out such a feeling:
"Rome wasn't built in a day."
"garbage man" comes from "garbage education".
A reporter from Xinhua Daily Telegraph interviewed a place last year and found that "over-nourishment" had moved into thousands of households.
"parents do everything possible to create a comfortable and excellent living environment for their children, giving them whatever they want, wearing brand-name clothes, using trendy electronic products, and chasing stars by swiping their mobile phones every day."
so, what do those well-fed children look like in the end?
and the man who hugged his mother on the street in Shanghai.
he was used to "holding out his clothes and opening his mouth". When his mother was no longer able to help him pay his debts, he beat his mother in the street.
the thin old man sat down on the ground and watched his son beat himself with his clothes.
they "regard money as dirt" and more "family affection as dirt".
second, there are no rules.
tell a story I read in the Morning Post of Life.
it took only five months for a set of one-story buildings in a residential area in Taiyuan, Shanxi Province, from full to empty.
three of them died and one was detained.
and this tragedy was planted as early as 30 years ago.
this three-generation only son, who is regarded by the whole family as a "treasure in the palm", has gradually grown into a "rebellious son" in the eyes of his neighbors.
when I was a child, I pushed my grandfather down and snatched money from him.;
when you grow up, if you don't do your job, changing girlfriends is faster than flipping through books.
but the family sat by and watched the boy do whatever he wanted.
until Liu Yu reached the age of 35.
in a quarrel, he angered his mother to have a heart attack, and then walked away.
because there was no one to take care of the family, the elderly grandmother died of illness when she was found in the community. The father with cerebral infarction was starved to death in loneliness and despair.
Liu Yu was finally arrested by the police on suspicion of abandonment.
there is a good saying: raising a child is like flying a kite, not only to fly high, but also to keep it on the line.
rules are the bottom line and principle for children and adults.
first of all, TA is a good person before he can be a good child.
third, I don't know how to be grateful.
A conversation between mother and son was recorded in her Happiness:
the mother said to her son, "in the future, you should say hello to your parents when you go to school and after school, thank your parents before and after dinner, and say that your parents have worked hard."
son: "aren't you training me like a kitten and puppy?"
Mother: "We do so many things for you every day, it's not too much for you to say 'Thank you, thank you for your hard work'."
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the son continued, "didn't you say that maternal love is selfless?"
Mother: "parents' love for their children is selfless, but children's love for their parents should also be selfless." Everyone's needs are the same. You want to be enjoyed and taken care of, and other people also want someone to take care of themselves in the same way. "
Today's family values are not as dogmatic as they used to be, but that doesn't mean they can be selfish and rude.
if there is no gratitude, you will not know how to cherish it, let alone "the lamb kneels and the crow feeds back".
since we are well aware of the harm of these three kinds of families, why can't we put an end to them?
to sort out the crux of the problem, you may have to read two sentences.
the first sentence: "sometimes parents give their children too much love, not too little."
watch a video with you:
this is an interview from last Spring Festival.
Beijing, an old man who works as a cleaning worker, has not been able to go home during the Spring Festival.
ask him about his income over the past year.
he told you:
Cleaner's salary is not high, and he can only earn 30,000 yuan a year.
I spent NT $10,000 on my own, and the rest was left to my hometown son to marry and build a house.
ask again, doesn't the child miss you during the Spring Festival?
he said with red eyes:
"affection is good if you can earn money. If you can't make money, you won't be filial to me."
in the end, the old father was a little choked up.
he gave everything he had for the sake of his children.
but he also knows that the child has always hated his incompetence, and now if he gets sick and can't work, his son won't take care of him at all.
after being parents, it seems that many people have lost themselves and can only desperately find the meaning of life in the process of "being a cow and a horse for their children."
they do not have the heart to let their children experience the difficulties of life, nor do they know how to ask them at the right time, so they eventually lead their children to ask for them for the rest of their lives.
second sentence: "parents are the most useless' maternal and baby products'in the world. After we use them, we throw them away like diapers?"
if the first sentence is for my parents, then I would like to ask all the children in the world.
there is a hot question on Zhihu: "born in a fourth-tier city, your parents can't help you with your career. Are you still grateful?"
this is a secret corner in the hearts of many children, as if everything their parents do is only natural, but if they can't bring benefits to themselves, they have to hold resentment.
We admit that people and families are different materially, but parents have done their best to complete their lifts.
when you pursue the quality of life, drinking coffee and eating steak, your parents in their hometown may wear the old clothes they bought a few years ago to help you worry about the down payment on your house.
when you run towards the poem and far away, swaggering through the market in famous brands, what may be hidden behind is the life of your parents in a hurry and full of chicken feathers.
suddenly remembered a sentence:
"what is the point of growing up if our parents are as hard as before?"
even if there are too many unsatisfactions in life, even if we don't have a grateful heart, we should not frown and punch each other to the parents who love you deeply.
I have seen the cousin who was pestered by her son, and also saw the 79-year-old mother who was slapped wildly on the sofa by her daughter.
although I don't think about "raising children to prevent old age", there is a question that always echoes in my mind:
I will also have children of my own. What will be my old age in a few decades' time?
the answer is actually very simple, as the writer Wang Weihua said, ∶
"Today for the elderly is the tomorrow for the middle-aged and the day after tomorrow for the young."
I don't want to raise unfilial children, and I don't want to be miserable at night.
We have to do 10 words:
"think of yourself as a person and your children as a person."
parents on their knees will never be able to raise a standing child.
one book a week is released by authorization.