The real high EQ is not hypocrisy, but warmth.
there is a saying that goes like this:
IQ determines your lower limit, while EQ determines your upper limit.
the degree to which you speak comfortably determines the height you can reach.
I think so.
speaking is not only the embodiment of EQ, but also reveals the basic accomplishment of receiving people and waiting for things.
people with high EQ make people feel like a spring breeze and warm people's hearts.
people with high EQ will not easily comment on other people's lives
I have read such a story.
the woman set up a stall on the side of the road all morning, waiting for a man to bring her food.
the man parked his bike and said to his wife apologetically:
"Sorry, I'm late. Are you hungry?"
although the woman is busy, when she sees the man coming, she squints her eyes and smiles and says:
"there's no hurry, it's still early."
the man took the lunch box and said:
"it's still hot. Go ahead and eat. I'll eat with you."
at this time, a middle-aged woman came in front of the stall. She glanced into the lunch box and then said in surprise:
"Sister, what kind of life are you living here? there is no oil or water in the lunch box. How can you eat this meal? how can you work so hard? how can a man treat you like this?"
as he spoke, he shook his head and walked away from the stall.
the couple who were very satisfied just now lost the joy just now. The woman looked at the lunch box in her hand and burst into tears.
in life, you will find that there are many such people.
you reward yourself for a long trip and post several moments excitedly.
he commented that he had never been abroad at a glance, and was so excited.
you save money to buy a bag you like for a long time, and you can't help posting it to your moments as a souvenir.
he commented, how long has this model been out of date? I don't have much sense at first glance.
for a period of time, a girl went on a hot search because she could not afford sanitary napkins.
someone retweeted comments on WeChat moments saying:
"is there anything you can't afford? Saving a cup of milk tea is not enough, and the big deal is not small. "
but they don't know that girls who can't afford sanitary napkins may never drink milk tea in their lives.
there is a saying in the Great Gatsby:
"whenever you want to comment on others, you should remember that not all people have the same advantages as you."
those who have good self-cultivation and high EQ will not easily comment on others, let alone disturb other people's happiness.
people with high EQ have a sense of proportion in chatting
the old horse driving Didi downstairs at home has a good personality and is talkative.
but he can always get bad comments from passengers, and even he is puzzled that he clearly says hello when he gets on and off the bus. What's not polite?
this is the problem. Whether he is good or not, he is very uncomfortable when chatting.
once I took his car. When I heard that I was not married, I asked me to find someone quickly, saying that this was filial piety and did not let my parents worry about it.
when I heard that my salary was only a general income, he advised me to go home early. Working at home is a real job, and I am useless here.
well, although it is in the same building, we are not familiar with each other to that extent.
there is no sense of boundaries in communication, so if you come up and go straight to privacy, it is tantamount to looking at the color of other people's underwear when you meet.
it is an adult's basic sense of limit to do his own job and not to interfere in other people's affairs.
I really can't. It's okay to learn from the British to talk about the weather.
people with high EQ, don't break through
I once went to a dinner with my seniors.
all the people present are colleagues, and after three rounds of wine, some people have begun to brag.
to open your mouth is to talk about a few million-dollar customers and have made several popular styles that have caused a sensation in the industry....
ridiculously, he didn't do two of the grades he said.
the real author is the elder around me.
when he bragged for the first time, my seniors and I looked at each other, and by the second time he talked about hype, I was ready to expose him.
but the elder made a sign to me not to move, not to expose him.
, I asked my seniors, why not hang it on the train for such a man with a full mouth?
the elder said, "he is just eager to prove himself, even pretending to be someone else, which is already very bitter."
it is the most basic respect for people to see through and not to tell, and to know people without judging them.
people with high EQ don't argue about irrelevant matters
one day, a disciple of Confucius was sweeping the floor outside the door when a guest came to ask him a question:
the disciple thought, what is there to ask such a simple question? He replied:
the guest was dissatisfied and said: no, there are only three seasons.
the two men argued endlessly and decided to bet. Who is wrong is like kowtowing three times.
two people went to Confucius and explained the whole story. Confucius glanced at the guest and said:
there are three seasons in a year.
the disciple was confused, but according to the teacher, he didn't.Dare not to obey.
when the disciple kowtowed his head and saw off the guests, he dared to ask the teacher, how can you say that there are only three seasons throughout the year?
Confucius said, "look at that guest. He is all green and a grasshopper."
the grasshopper was born in spring and died in autumn. You quarreled with him until night, and he only experienced three seasons.
there are always such people in moments who can quarrel with you for a long time because of a little thing that has nothing to do with him.
you say that human traffickers are still rampant. He retorts that he has seen too many movies. Now there is surveillance everywhere. How can such a thing happen?
there are always some people who feel that as long as they haven't seen it, they don't have it in the world.
if you say yes, I will argue with you about right and wrong.
people with high EQ understand that they have different levels and do not have to argue.
people with high EQ do not poke painful places
A few days ago, my friend talked about the experience of quarreling with her boyfriend.
in her words, the quarrel was her overwhelming victory.
two people quarreled because of trifles, and their boyfriend never talked back before. maybe he felt really aggrieved this time and explained a few words.
seeing that her boyfriend still dared to argue, she was even angrier and felt that the other person still didn't realize the mistake. She self-righteously used her killer's mace to mention his family.
the boyfriend, who was going to reason with him, suddenly became silent and said something for a while:
"you shouldn't have said that."
then turn around and leave.
my boyfriend's family is very poor, so it's not easy for his mother to bring him up alone.
he works hard to make money, getting better and better, subsidizing his family, and almost no one knows his weakness.
I told my friend that I quickly went and apologized to him. There were some words that could not be said. One word would be enough to take it back.
my friend said proudly that he dared to talk back, and that was the end. Within three days, he would come back and apologize to me.
but what she didn't expect was that the next day, her boyfriend packed up and moved out of the house, changed his contact information, and broke up with her in the most decisive way.
she cried for three days and begged her boyfriend to come back, but her boyfriend still said:
"you shouldn't have said that."
it is true that there is nothing good to say in a quarrel, but a person with high EQ knows what can't be said with anger.
the closer you are to someone, the more you know their weaknesses.
use the sharpest words to open each other's weaknesses, leaving only irreparable harm.
once read such a sentence:
"when you feel very comfortable with others, it is not necessarily that you share the same interests, but that his EQ is high enough."
think about it carefully, those friends who are comfortable with each other are not talkative, but their every move is like a spring breeze.
they speak appropriately, never embarrass people, are compassionate and know how to sympathize.
they can make the people around them feel that they are the one who is valued and cared for without knowing their voice and color.
as Cai Kangyong once said:
"the real high EQ is not hypocrisy, but warmth."
, may you be a warm person.
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