If the family is in harmony, future generations will also benefit from it.
Mozi has a classic saying:
"dyed in the grey is grey, dyed in the yellow is yellow, the color changes, so does the color." Therefore, we must be careful. "
Mozi has seen people dye silk. When dyed with cyan pigment, it becomes cyan, and when dyed with yellow pigment, it becomes yellow. After five times, it becomes five colors.
so in his opinion, the matter of "dyeing" needs to be very cautious.
in fact, the family is also a big dye vat. Everyone is born with a blank sheet of paper. Parents must lead by example of what they want their children to be.
parents are gluttonous and lazy, and their children are not diligent; if their parents are reasonable, their children will be gentle.
it is never ability, but acquired family education, that determines a person's fate.
A family, if you commit these three taboos, it is difficult to teach sensible children!
the family style is not good, and he is highly doting
writer Ma Boyong said: "the inheritance of a family is like a good antique."
the antique is tangible, but the inheritance is invisible. Although it can not be seen or touched, it permeates every bone and blood of the family.
A good family style is a person's attitude and confidence in dealing with the world, and it also affects his future.
if the family style is not correct, people will tilt.
Balzac has such a character:
the old man, the flour merchant, spoiled his two daughters so much that he gave most of his property as a dowry in order to give them a luxurious life as a lady.
but the married daughters left their father mercilessly after they had squeezed their father out of his last pension.
as the saying goes, "the doting is unknown, and the greedy is insatiable."
if you dote on a person too much, you will not be able to distinguish right from wrong; those who are insatiably greedy will never be satisfied.
there is nothing wrong with parents loving their children, but love also needs to be grasped to a certain extent, otherwise it is killing their children's future.
in many cases, children's problems are mostly the product of the family and a reflection of parents' problems.
there are no poorly educated children, only parents who do not know how to educate.
although Mr. Fu Lei, a famous educator, loves his son, he will never spoil him.
he put his son Fu Cong's education as a man in the family life of acting and dealing with others.
Fu Lei has put forward strict requirements for such trivial things as dressing, eating, standing, acting and talking.
it is these trivial things that make Fu Cong, who is as warm and moist as jade today.
Jin Yong also commented: "Mr. Fu Lei's family letter is a gentleman who teaches his children how to be a real gentleman."
A good family style is a priceless treasure for a child to benefit all his life, and it is also the best card for him to stand in the world in the future.
parents who dote on their children should remember:
everything is done for the child, he will do nothing in the future, and the result is a giant baby.
the only thing you can do is to hide your love for your child from the bottom of your heart, let him go on his own, and encourage him to rely on himself at all times.
Family discord and unfilial piety
what is the most important thing when a family is together?
is there tens of thousands of Ande and Xiamen? Is it handed down to the ancestral good land? Or a steady stream of guests and friends?
the location of money is just an external thing, and it is more important than anything else for a family to be together, healthy and safe, and live in harmony.
if the family is at odds with each other, and the mother is unkind and unfilial, no matter how much money he has, the family will eventually fall.
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if the family is harmonious and the whole family is of one heart and one mind, future generations will also benefit endlessly.
have seen such a short story:
there are families who live together for three generations, and they live an ordinary life together.
one day, the father said to his son, "your grandfather is old and frail and useless in the world. He might as well abandon it in the mountains."
in the middle of the night, father and son carried the old man to the stream in a basket.When they were about to throw it down, the son said:
"Dad, all we have to do is throw people away. Why throw away these baskets, too?"
the father said angrily, "what do you know?" If you don't even want people, why do you need this crappy basket? "
the son said, "if you throw away this basket, what will my son and I use to bring you here in the future?"
Father was astonished when he heard it, like a slap on the head, waking up from a big dream!
so he quickly ordered his son to carry the old man home and take good care of him, and he never dared to act unfilial again.
Children are the "mirror" of parents. Children see everything adults say and do.
you will reap what you sow the seeds of your actions.
how can one convince his children if he can abandon his parents and relatives who have given him life?
parents are role models for their children. If there is no kinship and filial piety between the elders, the children will not be filial.
everyone comes into the world to play a different role. Today is a child, and maybe the day after tomorrow is a parent.
filial piety to elders is not only to set an example for their children, but also to give themselves a way out.
the world is so big, we might as well make more blind dates when we meet in this world.Love, complain less and hurt less.
if you don't repair your family morality, you often take shortcuts
Nan Huaijin, a master of Sinology, said: "one virtue, two lives, three fengshui, four accumulations of yin and five books; blessed human settlements, blessed human settlements."
being virtuous is the best feng shui for a family.
in life, many people walk into a crooked path because of their temporary tribulations.
most of the shortcuts to life are difficult to take. If you take too many paths, you will inevitably lose the ability to climb the peak.
in the TV series "settling down", a boss surnamed Gong had no choice but to sell the old house handed down from his ancestors because of the cash outflow of the company.
what makes people laugh is that this great aunt is a distant relative of Mr. Gong, and her great grandfather pitied her and gave them a place to live.
A large family, which moved out a long time ago, is now here to rip off.
in the play, the old lady splashes and rolls, thinking that if she gets the money, she can get to the sky one step at a time, and she doesn't have to worry about it for the rest of her life, but she doesn't know that this kind of behavior will only bring ants to future generations.
it is said that the owner of the house in the prototype of this story really gave the distant relative tens of millions of "moving expenses" in the end.
ridiculously, the family took this huge sum of money for various profligacy, and soon ran out of it, and finally everything went back to square one.
there used to be a saying that a gentleman loves money and takes it wisely.
there are many opportunistic tricks in the world, but few people remember the truth that "if virtue does not match, there will be disasters".
the older generation likes to take shortcuts, so children naturally refuse to keep their feet on the ground.
since there is a free lunch in life, there is no need to do it yourself.
there is no such thing as a free lunch, and even if there is, it doesn't necessarily hit you.
Wanzhang tall buildings rise from the ground, the dragon lies on the side of the tiger and the mountains stand high.
most of the success in this world is accumulated bit by bit. You can't always want to become a fat man in one bite.
like the couplet written by Lin Zexu:
"if grandchildren are like me, what will they do with their money?" If you are wise and have more money, you will lose his will. Children and grandchildren are not as good as me, why leave money for? If you are foolish and have more money, you will increase your mistakes. "
Children's life needs a guiding light like parents. Intelligence is important, but it is more important to teach children how to be a man.
because "morality can often make up for the defects of wisdom, and wisdom can never make up for the defects of morality."
German philosopher Jaspers said:
education is that one tree shakes another, one cloud pushes another, and one soul summons another.
parents can be seen in excellent children, and the reasons for bear children's behavior can also be found in their parents.
what kind of person a child will become depends largely on the environment in which he grew up.
in a family, children are saplings, parents are gardeners, children are shadows, and parents are benchmark.
if the parents' family style is good, the children will do it themselves; if the parents are kind, the children will know the book and propriety; if the parents are virtuous, the children will be able to stand on their own feet.
A fight between parents and children is a gradual separation. The best thing you can leave your children with is not a house or savings, but a lifetime of character and upbringing.