Deal with ordinary things with a normal mind, and live this long life safely.
there is a highly discussed topic on the Internet: what is the sign of a person's true maturity?
see an answer deeply rooted in the hearts of the people: even if the inner waves are rough, the surface can be light, you can adjust yourself at a low ebb, and you can stick to your heart when you are high.
if summed up in four words, it is probably: managing emotions.
the ancients said: do not promise when you are happy, do not speak when you are sad, do not fight when you are angry, do not decide when you are in chaos, and end when you are tired.
change yourself, starting with managing your emotions.
Don't get angry with your family, control your temper
have you ever experienced such a moment:
when you get along with friends, other people tell you what to do with your life, and you will smile and endure in order to maintain your relationship, but when you get home, your parents' nagging makes you furious.
when you are under great pressure at work, when you encounter difficulties from customers everywhere, you will swallow your anger and not turn your face, but when you get home, a word of concern from your wife gives you a reason to vent.
when you are worried about trifles, you will maintain your self-cultivation even if others challenge your bottom line, but when you get home, the cry of your child makes you furious.
there is a passage that clarifies the true appearance of adults:
"We are always respectful to strangers and complain to our families.
all patience and tolerance are given to others, but the worst mood and worst side are left to those who are closest to them. "
the greatest anger is vented on the person who cares about you most, and the most hurtful words to the one you love the most will become regrets and regrets of many people.
host Kou Naixin had such an experience:
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once she and her husband quarreled over trifles, and she was afraid that she had lost the quarrel, so she picked her husband's sore spot to fight back:
"how can you deserve me? do you know that you are divorced and secondhand, and that you are not worthy of me at all!"
after listening to this, the husband was silent for a moment, then packed his bags and was ready to leave. Before going out, he turned around and said, "Nai Xin, you know, some words can't be said."
since then, Kou Naixin began to reflect: language is a sharp weapon to hurt people, even a kind of violence, and he may be a domestic violence.
every time you get angry, you keep your distance from your family; every part of your anger is a scar engraved on your family.
No one in this world takes your bad temper for granted.
it is a person's most basic self-cultivation to treat his family without blaming and forgiving when something happens.
as the writer Zhou Guoping wrote:
"it is instinct to be critical of those close to you, but it is a kind of upbringing to overcome your instinct and not to be critical of those close to you." We should guard against our instincts and cultivate our education. "
Don't let yourself sulk and keep a stable state of mind
when the famous tennis player Li Na won the French Open, she mentioned:
"the best gift of victory is peace of mind."
I always think of this sentence whenever I am cornered by the pressures of life.
as I get older, I feel more and more that "peace of mind" is actually the most precious gift of life to everyone.
during the short holiday not long ago, I made an appointment with my old friend Dashan to travel together and talked about each other's recent situation on the way.
"before the age of 30, I always used to keep all my emotions in my heart.
work problems, emotional changes, big and small things not only overwhelm the heart, but also overwhelm health. "
it was not until a serious illness that I knew that sulking could also destroy the human body.
since then, he began to look for ways to vent his emotions. Travel, sports and reading have made him much more peaceful.
there is a good saying: the state of mind is always balanced and the mood is always stable, which is also the way to live a long life.
when we walk in the world, we have to understand that people do not live by mood, but by state of mind.
when one road is impassable, go another way, and when you don't understand one thing, change your mind to solve the problem.
there is an ancient temple in Amsterdam, and the stone tablet in the courtyard is engraved with a profound sentence:
"it has become a reality, it can only be so."
that is, if you can't change the result of something, you can change your mindset.
the best way to live in life is not to sulk, to let go of yourself, to be calm and calm.
Don't be too emotional when something happens, give up the impulse
Mr. Lin Yutang once said:
"A person who has a clean mind, clear thinking, and no superfluous emotions and delusions will bring sense of security to people.
because he does not hurt others or himself. Do not cause trouble, nor do you bother others.
what is harmless?
you won't hurt the innocent just because your emotions come to you for a while. This is a precept to your own behavior.
what is not self-harm?
will not be blocked in the heart just because of an impassable situation. This is a precept to mind distractions.
some time ago, the news that a ride-hailing driver was out of control and killed a passenger made many netizens call it scary.
but Gao still called after his arrival, this moveCaused Zhang's strong dissatisfaction.
after getting on the bus, Zhang had a heated argument with Gao, the driver. During the argument, the driver refused to take Zhang and his girlfriend and asked them to get off.
after Zhang got out of the car, it was hard to calm his anger, so he picked up the drink bottle he had just finished and smashed it at Gao's car.
who ever thought that Gao, who was going to leave, suddenly drove into Zhang and his girlfriend like "crazy", and finally Zhang was killed.
the most terrible thing in the world is to lose control of your emotions and make your life a victim of impulse.
when something happens, it is too emotional, it is a disaster, it destroys itself and others.
with age, not only experience, but also the ability to control emotions.
only by being calm, doing things rationally and managing your emotions well can you control your life.
give up the impulse, let go of hostility, be a stable person, in order to make life a little more calm.
Don't be too negative, stop consuming
American writer O'Henry told a story in the Last Ivy Leaf:
A young man was seriously ill and dying. During the period of hospitalization, she often looked at a tree outside the ward window in a daze.
Autumn is coming, and the cold wind blows the leaves off the trees one by one, leaving little left.
the young people look at the almost bare vines, and their physical and mental conditions are getting worse and worse day by day.
an old painter heard this and painted a green leaf on the rattan branch on the wall with a paintbrush.
until the end, the leaf didn't fall.
it is precisely because of this vitality that young people see the hope of life, and their health is getting better and better day by day.
there are so many moments in life that we think that negativity occupies the whole life, but in fact, all negative things are just episodes in life.
negative energy brings not only sadness and pain, but also self-consumption.
instead of dealing with the world with a negative attitude, it is better to face life positively.
I like what Professor Luo Xiang said very much:
"be cautious about things you can control and be optimistic about things that are out of control."
people can only do what they can. You have to accept it and deal with it with optimism. "
in Farewell my Concubine, I was particularly impressed by a line: people have to fend for themselves.
manage emotions, is to manage their own demons, to be the master of emotions, is the best way to achieve their own.
, may you have a small temper, low expectations and a good state of mind in the days to come.
deal with normal things with a normal mind, and live this long life safely.