Try to make life the way you want it to be.
some time ago, I saw a post in Douban group.
the girl who posted the post is Fangfang. She has been married for five years and has a three-year-old daughter. She wants a divorce but is reluctant to give up.
Fang Fang said that before they got married, she and her husband had the same academic qualifications and jobs, and they matched each other in all aspects. After getting married, only to find that the gap between the two people is getting wider and wider.
Fangfang is very planned for life, while raising children, while working, down-to-earth, diligent, is on the rise in her career.
my husband has not been looking for a job since he resigned a year ago.
at first, I went to drive Didi for a few days, but then I didn't go out much. I stayed up late to play games and slept during the day. Even when I was absent from work this year, I never took care of the children.
moreover, whenever his wife mentions asking him to find a job and do housework, her husband feels that she despises him and scolds her.
Fang Fang felt that she really couldn't live any longer, but the child was still young and she didn't know whether she should get divorced or not, so she asked for help from netizens.
did not expect that under Fangfang's post, someone unexpectedly commented:
"it's not bad that your husband didn't gamble, cheat or commit domestic violence. Divorce is a stain on a woman, and she has children. If she remarries later, the man will dislike you. "
people's values are ruined.
No gambling, no infidelity, no domestic violence is clearly the bottom line of being a husband, but it has become an advantage that everyone likes to talk about.
divorce, which is only a forced choice, has become a stain on women.
with all due respect, I can't agree with this value.
netizen Xiao Wen posted several chat records on Weibo.
Xiaowen, 30, agreed to divorce six months ago because her ex-husband was addicted to alcohol.
some time ago, relatives at home took the initiative to contact Xiaowen and said they wanted to introduce her to someone.
at first, Xiao Wen politely refused, saying that she had been busy with her work recently and wanted to focus on her career first.
who knows on the other side, relatives keep trying to persuade, first saying:
"you are not young, and you are married for the second time, so don't be too picky.
that young man has a little disability on his hand, but he is very nice. They haven't been married, and they don't hate you, so just meet and get in touch with each other first. "
"I don't think you are bad, but if a woman has divorced, she has depreciated, and she is willing to pay a bride price of 20,000 yuan, which is not bad."
Xiaowen was angry and laughed.
Xiao Wen said: "I earn 20,000 yuan a month. I have a job I like and have my own hobbies. Why should I get married for 20,000 yuan?"
believes that, in the final analysis, it is the different views on marriage between people.
in this world, some people see marriage as a lifesaver, while others see it as the icing on the cake.
in the eyes of Xiaowen's relatives, a woman must marry close to her. In the "market" of choosing a mate, if she is divorced, the price will be reduced.
but in Xiao Wen's eyes, living a good life, self-love and self-reliance are the real strength.
just like a conversation between Harriet and Emma in Emma.
"Miss, you were born beautiful, why don't you get married?
"since the affection has not arrived, why should I change my present state?
I have no worries about food and clothing and live a full life. I don't believe there is a housewife who is happier than I am now. "
Wanna look trendy in these hawaiian white gowns for wedding and display your unique femininity. Shop with us for the quality and fabulous prices.
the really smart person is not not looking forward to marriage, but not attached to it.
because she knows that marriage cannot save a person's misery, and divorce will not ruin a person's brilliance.
whether you are married or not, you should always have control of your life.
is a disaster
in the TV series "do you know if it should be Green, Fat, Red and thin", Shulan encounters a muddy marriage.
in the play, Shulan is gentle, does not fight, does not rob, obeys her parents' orders, and marries Sun Xiucai, who is from a poor family but is known as a "child prodigy".
who knows, Sun Xiucai is a sanctimonious villain.
although he is a scholar, Sun Xiucai does not have any of the integrity and decency of a scholar.
after marriage, she had no respect for Shulan and often hurt people, like a vampire, waving Huo Shulan's dowry with peace of mind.
Shu Lan's forbearance only intensified Sun Xiucai's family.
in the final analysis, such a marriage is just a disaster.
so, after Sun Xiucai drank and made trouble again, the family didn't want Shu Lan to give in any more. At this time, my sister Minglan stood up and persuaded Shu Lan and left.
"my sister has taken the wrong step and has entered the poor alley. since she has entered the poor alley, she should turn around in time. You can't wait for a lifetime to pass away. It's too late to repent.
Yes, there is only a desperate marriage, like a sinister alley.
the other half will no longer protect you from the wind and rain, but will make things difficult for you and blame you everywhere.
between husband and wife, there is no love, only endless quarrels and cold war.
at this timeLearning to give up a "disastrous marriage" is the best way out.
to make a woman's price down
is not divorced, but losing oneself
in Sister through the Wind and waves, Bai Bing, who got divorced, said about her past feelings:
"in the past, I may have relied more on others for my emotions, but now I have to be nice to myself."
so, after fading off the screen for a long time, she chose to return to the stage.
choose to let go of the past and start over.
she is still as beautiful as ever.
how can such a confident woman drop the price?
in life, too many people like to point the finger at other people's married life.
"married women are worthless!"
"you're divorced, so why choose?" Let's get married! "
I want to say that divorce is not an original sin. What makes a woman cheap is not that she has been divorced, but that she has completely lost herself.
for women, giving up their careers and self-investment is a very "stupid" thing.
when you are confident and independent, you do not need to ask for it, let alone look at other people's faces, you have the strength of life.
neither single nor divorce can be used as a criterion to judge whether a person is "cheap" or not.
it is certainly a pleasant surprise to meet the other half of all sentient beings at once.
after hitting the wall once, it is also lucky to know how to love and love yourself.
finally, Uncle wants you:
after seeing the ugliness of the world, he still chooses to be kind.
having tasted the warmth of the world, I still believe in love.
, try to make life the way you want it to be.