Good communication and the ability to deal with people affect our lives.
when it comes to dealing with people and dealing with others, the first reaction of many people is to achieve high EQ.
so, in the process of communicating with people, what kind of performance can be regarded as high EQ?
I once mentioned in my article that being able to speak is indeed an output manifestation of high EQ.
so the question becomes: what kind of performance can be regarded as talking?
I have a few feelings about this.
I think that people who really have high EQ, that is, people who can speak, often know how to be cautious in their words and deeds and resolutely refrain from saying what they should not say.
to sum up, when communicating with people, there are usually six types of words that should not be said. This is the danger area that we should try to avoid.
Don't speak ill of people behind their backs
A young reader once complained to me that colleagues are really unlikely to be friends and that their feelings are too fake.
with such feelings, it is natural to be hurt.
here's the thing: she has a good relationship with a colleague in the company, has lunch together, and goes shopping and goes to the movies after work.
she went to eat hot pot with this good colleague after work. When she was in a bad mood, she became more and more excited and felt very aggrieved, so she said a lot of bad things about her boss.
originally, this is a complaint between friends, but if I say so, I will change the story. But to her surprise, a month later, the boss suddenly called her to the office and told her to pack up and leave.
it turns out that all the bad things she said about her boss that day were known.
later, I said to this reader that if I have a problem with a person, whether at work or in life, I would rather say it in front of him than behind his back.
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the first thing people who really have high EQ will never say is to speak ill of others behind their backs and criticize a person.
Don't gossip about gossip
I believe many people have heard the saying: there are many widows in front of their doors.
most of the time, the reason why there are so many mistakes in front of a widow is not that the widow has done anything to cause trouble, but that there are more people who like to gossip.
there is a nature in people's bones that it is not too big to watch the fun, so that many people have such a problem. They like to get together and gossip about things, regardless of whether things are true or not.
at the same time, it is also a kind of behavior with low EQ.
the second thing people who really have high EQ will never say is gossip. They will not gossip and talk about others.
there are two reasons.
first, the problem of self-cultivation just mentioned, gossiping is likely to cause irreparable losses and injuries to the parties, which is awesome.
second, it is easy to produce contradictions and misunderstandings and get yourself into trouble.
people have a lot of idle time. If you want to stay away from right and wrong, you have to keep your mouth shut.
Don't say complaints full of negative energy
Sister Xianglin's tragedy lies in her bumpy experience on the one hand and her character on the other. She likes to complain too much and tells her misfortune to everyone, which makes her already bumpy life even worse.
people are like this. when a person tells his misfortune, people will sympathize with him and comfort him, but if he complains endlessly and complains every day, people will gradually change from sympathy to disgust.
Lu Xun's novels describe people's attitude towards Sister Xianglin like this: even the most compassionate old ladies of Buddhist chanting no longer see any trace of tears in their eyes.
the reason is simple, because energy is contagious, and when we are with positive people, we also become positive and optimistic, while when we associate with people who are full of negative energy, our emotions are often affected.
the third thing that really high EQ people will never say is negative energy full of grievances. When they encounter unpleasant things, they will digest them by themselves and talk to very close friends, but they will never complain everywhere and complain to everyone.
in many cases, complaining will only make the problem worse.
Don't say arrogant nonsense
I have said in my article that the level of a person can be seen from the way he speaks.
highly cultivated and educated people tend to have a low attitude of speaking to others, always whispering, humble and courteous, leaving a sense of superiority to others.
such people are naturally offensive.
the fourth thing people who really have high EQ will never say is arrogant, arrogant and arrogant tone.
as the saying goes, there are people outside the people, there are days outside the sky.
it is better to be humble. Exchanges between people that can go on for a long time are often based on mutual respect.
Don't say bad things that hurt others
as the saying goes, good words are warm in three winters, and evil words hurt people in June.
in many cases, the harm and influence of words on a person is far more unbearable and more difficult to heal than the pain of the skin and flesh caused by the whip.
therefore, we often say that we should be cautious in our words and deeds, don't judge a person arbitrarily, and don't stimulate or humiliate a person with words. That's why.
the fifth thing that people who really have high EQ will never say are bad words, harsh words, and sarcastic words that hurt others.
for the rest of your life, be sure to speak well, deny, question, satirize and ridicule. Try not to appear words that may hurt others.
A lot of people are not as strong as you think.
Don't say angry words with emotion
there is a more important yardstick to judge whether a person's EQ is high or not, that is, whether he has emotional control, whether he is mature and stable enough to deal with others, and whether he can consider and take care of other people's feelings when speaking and doing things.
because if the control of emotion is not in place, then it will usually do something radical, and if it is inappropriate to speak, it will make the people who communicate and talk uncomfortable, resulting in bad results.
We can look at those people who are considered to have high EQ. In addition to being kind, they often have a very important trait, that is, they have strong control over emotions and do not know how to get emotional.
it is remarkable that even if they are angry and depressed, they can control their emotions and not be led by the nose by their emotions.
the sixth thing that people who really have high EQ will never say is angry words with strong emotions and irrationality.
the broken mirror is hard to get round again, and the water covered is hard to recover.
what is said, it is often impossible to get it back, and the damage caused is irreparable, and it is even difficult to make up for it completely.
therefore, do not say angry words with emotion, this is the thinking and habit of people with high EQ, and it is also the self-consciousness that a mature adult should have.
some people say that 15% of a person's success depends on professional ability, and 85% on interpersonal communication and communication skills.
this proportion may be exaggerated, but good communication and the ability to deal with people do have a great impact on our lives.
the six words shared today hope that we will try our best to avoid them in our future life.