When a hero passes by, someone has to sit on the side of the road and applaud.
not long ago, a video of director Yingda's interview caused a heated discussion on the Internet.
in the camera, the 61-year-old talks generously about his youngest son, Ying Ruyu (Bayan), who is engaged in a hockey career.
in response to a reporter's question, Yingda said proudly that Ying Ruyu will compete in the 2022 Winter Olympic Games and is expected to become captain of the hockey team and win honor for the country on his doorstep.
for a while, the "cloud-mud difference" between Gbatu and Bayan, 24 years after the divorce of Yingda and Song Dandan, was once again on the hot list.
one marching into the Chinese sports world has made history, and the other lives under the aura of his mother, and then look at their lives. "the same father has different lives." it's really not just talk.
in 1997, after Yingda divorced Song Dandan, she turned around and married Liang Huan, the screenwriter of I Love my Family.
this son has become the apple of Yingda's eye.
when his eldest son Gbatu was laughed at as a "fatherless wild child", Yingda created the most luxurious childhood for Bayan.
Yingru dysprosium, born with a golden spoon, was heavily spent at the age of 3 and received first-class piano training.
later, he became interested in ice sports when he saw a group of children skating on the ice rink on the top floor of the mall.
seeing that his son was in high spirits, Yingda hired a coach for him and studied for several years.
by chance, a coach saw that English was born with good conditions and strong health, so he suggested that he practice ice hockey instead.
after playing hockey several times, Ying Ru Di completely fell in love with this sport full of confrontation and strength.
Yingda, who also likes hockey, thinks highly of his son and decides to train his son to fulfill his unfinished hockey dream for him.
Yingda spent a lot of money to pay a "sky-high price" training fee of 30,000 yuan for Yingru to send him to an upscale children's club to receive systematic ice hockey training.
also spent 10,000 yuan to buy helmets, masks, skates, clubs and other equipment.
at that time, ice hockey was an aristocratic sport, and the annual training fee, entry fee, equipment renewal and other expenses added up to no less than 400000 yuan.
in a certain program, the host inadvertently revealed that Yingda had built an ice rink for his youngest son to facilitate his practice.
under the huge expenses, Yingda, who has always been high-profile, bowed her head in order to pave the way for her son's dream.
from "only being willing to host a few programs selectively in Beijing" to "frequently going to other places to host programs and performing in caves."
with her father's material and spiritual support, Ying Ru Di has rapidly grown into the absolute core of the hockey club Tigers.
in 2006, Yingru dysprosium and the Tigers won the Bell Capital Cup in Canada, the world's largest under-12 hockey match.
at the 2007 North American Hockey Children's World Championships, Yingda served as the team leader at his own expense, together with the coach led the Tiger team through 108 teams and finally won the championship.
9-year-old Ying, such as dysprosium, won MVP with excellent performance.
after the game, the Boston Bears of the NHL League officially invited Ying Ruyu to join the team's youth echelon as a key training point.
Yingda spurred on and sent Yingru dysprosium directly to Chicago to enjoy more high-end training opportunities.
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when he riveted all his strength to fight for the future of his youngest son, Song Dandan was taking their young eldest son through the most helpless and lost stage of his life.
Gbatu was born in 1990, eight years older than Ying Rui.
as the eldest son, he never enjoyed complete fatherly love.
Song Dandan once wrote in the depths of Happiness:
he (Gbatu) once had a happy family in which every member was excellent, and before the age of seven, everything was broken overnight.
Entertainment News reported that when Yingda negotiated a divorce with Song Dandan, it made it clear that it did not want the custody of Gbatu.
when he married Liang Huan for the third time and had Yingru dysprosium, he turned a blind eye to Gbatu.
in 2011, Song Dandan took Gbatu on TV to attend a program promotion meeting.
as soon as she showed up here, Yingda appeared on the same program with Yingru dysprosium, calling herself "the driver, babysitter, cook and coach of the youngest son", making no secret of her fatherly love.
program was broadcast, Song Dandan lost his temper and bombarded Yingda with "not a person" on Weibo.
"A man can divorce, reorganize his family, love his wife and children, and show his father's love to call himself" driver, nanny, cook, coach "four-living father in front of the media."
but you can't ignore a former child who begged you to take him out once when he was 7 years old. You didn't even give you a phone number when he was 11 years old, and he has been a stranger for 14 years.
fatherly acting is fine, but I won't allow you to continue to hurt my son. "
she also revealed that she dared not change her cell phone number for 14 years, hoping that Yingda could call Gbatu.
but Gbatu never waited.
within a few days, Yingda showed up again, saying unabashedly that "the fate with Gbatu is over" when she appeared on a TV show.
"although we are father and son, our fate in life is only so long."
after two sentences ended the relationship between father and son, the topic turned toOn the youngest son.
"I would very much like to be called Yingru dysprosium's father now. I think I am very honored."
program, the host asked Yingda why Gbatu was looking for you, and you refused every time.
"now that I am divorced, it is not necessary and should not come to me again. The main thing I do not want to hurt is not my present wife, but my present children."
"I don't know if my youngest son is willing to share his fatherly love with another child."
"I can't play the role of father in this situation. First of all, it's bad for him, and secondly, it's unfair to his current stepfather."
the relationship between father and son was so rigid that even his own grandfather died, and Gbatu was turned away by Yingda.
Gbatu, who has been denied by his biological father one after another, has become an "unrecognized child" in everyone's eyes.
under the criticism of everyone, he watched his father helplessly and announced to the media:
Bayan is the fifth generation of the British family.
Bayan is really good.
at the age of 18, Beijing Kunlun Red Star Club offered an olive branch and bought Ying Ruyu with an annual salary of one million yuan, becoming the youngest professional player in the club.
in 2019, Yingru dysprosium made history by scoring a goal in the Continental Hockey League, the world's second largest hockey league.
he became the first Chinese player to score in the tournament.
Yu Tiande, head of the ice hockey department of the Winter Sports Management Center of the State Administration of Sports, praised bluntly, "the emergence of Ying, such as dysprosium, is a blessing of ice hockey in China."
by comparison, Gbatu looks very "ordinary".
when he was at school, he was rated as "the most troublesome in the school". Song Dandan received phone calls from his son every day and had to go to the teacher's office once a week to be criticized.
fortunately, the teenager who has passed the rebellious period has grown up smoothly, but he has been criticized by the outside world, and he has been living under the aura of his mother.
in 2009, Song Dandan starred in the War of the Old Niu Family, which was Gbatu's first play, and he and his mother played grandchildren.
two years later, I worked with my mother on "the Spring of Li Spring" again.
the following year, the two became a mother and son on the screen in Mom's mood for Love.
the real break is still the Legend of Miyue in 2014.
Gbatu plays the role of the honest, reckless and belligerent Prince of Qin, which makes more people know his actor identity.
however, whether it is film or TV series or variety shows, Gbatu, who frequently appears with Song Dandan, is lukewarm.
but she doesn't care about all this.
as Su Dongpo wrote in "Xier Drama": "May the child be foolish and ruthless, and if there is no disaster, it will not be difficult to reach the public secretary."
her only request was to warn Gbatu that "you must be honest and kind."
although his acting is not outstanding, he sings beautifully.
in the stage of "Crossing King", Gbatu broke into the top 12 with his strength.
he sang "when you are Old" for his mother, and Song Dandan burst into tears.
the sad past of those who depend on each other, those rough sharpening, set off the mother and son more and more deep affection.
most importantly, he never had a complaint about his biological father, Yingda.
Gbatu expressed respect and gratitude to his stepfather Zhao Yuji, "so that I can have a childhood without fatherly love."
the boy who needed his mother to defend his integrity at that time can now be on his own and become the warmth and support of his mother.
some people criticize Gbatu as a "negative example", but I don't think so.
many people only remember "I gave birth to a loser" that Song Dandan only inadvertently said on Reality Show, but ignored what she emphasized in countless interviews:
"son is my best work."
when heroes pass by, someone always sits on the side of the road and applauds.
if Bayan is the hero walking on the road, then Gbatu is the one sitting by the side of the road and applauding.
in terms of fame and influence, Gbatu is not as good as dysprosium.
but that's not enough to define a person's "success" and "failure".
the world is made up of 90% of ordinary people, 9% of people who can become small, and the last 1% of people who can succeed.
our children may also become people sitting on the side of the road and applauding.
he can learn not to be top-notch and not good-looking, but it is enough as long as he can always be kind, filial, honest, brave and bright.
it is also an achievement to become an ordinary person who is insipid but happy and make his life interesting.
now, Gbatu, 31, is married and has children. She and his wife are doing their own business together, and have entered a new stage of life.
Bayan, 23, is a rising "hockey star" with a promising future.
the entanglements of their parents' generation have gradually faded out of them.
the trauma brought to Gbatu by childhood may take time to heal.
in the final analysis, fate has not wronged the efforts of the two brothers.
one does not live up to the resources he gets, and one does not enjoy everything his mother has given him.
"the same father has a different life" is a fact, but this lack is really nothing for a child who has been loved from the heart and has a strong self-healing ability.