Say ironing words, compliments, warm words.
people who can talk will not be aggressive
interpersonal relationship guru Carnegie once attended a party.
banquet, a guest sitting next to him told a joke in which an allusion was quoted. But he was wrong about the origin of the allusions.
Carnegie couldn't sit still when he heard this.
his strong sense of vanity and superiority made him come forward and pointed out each other's mistakes without scruples.
the guests are very embarrassed: what? Do I remember wrong?
but Carnegie did not stop there, but continued to be aggressive, saying how he was sure. In the end, he had to bring a respected scholar on the spot to testify.
the scholar secretly kicked Carnegie and said, "you are wrong."
this puzzled Carnegie because he was sure he was right. After the party, he chased the scholar and asked why?
the other person said:
you are right. But why do you have to find a proof to blame others on the spot? What you do will only give people the impression that you care too much and have a small belly.
the matter of speaking seems very small, but there is a blessing hidden in it.
beat others with sarcastic words, embarrass others, in order to elevate themselves, and finally seem to win the argument, but not only lose their manners, but also lose popularity.
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if the other party's measure is not big enough, it will intensify unnecessary contradictions and make yourself suffer a secret loss.
as the saying goes, forgive others and forgive others.
even if you are reasonable, you should point it out in a gentle and acceptable way.
saving face for others is actually paving the way for one's own life.
people who can talk, know how to praise others
Zhihu has his eye on a problem--
what skills can be acquired in the short term and bring good returns to life?
the answer with the highest likes is: praise others.
there was an issue of Variety "Sound on the scene" in which Ni Ping hired Dong Qing as her guest performer. Dong Qing's high popularity increased Ni Ping's chances of winning.
but like the host, everyone is curious about how Ni Ping came up with this assistant.
Ni Ping explained: "
I texted her that you would come as soon as you were free, and then she came.
things seem simple, but there is a lot of mystery behind them.
as a matter of fact, there was no private contact between the two of them, and Dong Qing agreed to come because of a word.
at the beginning of her career, she was surprised to hear her colleague say, Dong Qing, Ni Ping praised you that day.
this makes Dong Qing very excited and encouraged.
so when she received a text message from Ni Ping, she thought that although she was not a dubbing actress, she still wanted to try hard and stand next to her sister to tell her that you had the right person for so many years.
A compliment at that time contributed to the help of the same stage today.
No wonder people say that praise is the lowest-cost and highest-return interpersonal magic weapon.
in fact, it is everyone's instinct to crave praise from others.
just the right compliment can not only put the other person in a good mood, but also bring you unexpected good luck.
sometimes praise can also reap a strong relationship.
Big S is very good at praising sir in marriage.
even for such trivial things as cycling, cooking and making tea for her, she will praise again and again: "you are amazing!" It's very kind of you! Thank you, husband! "
and Wang Xiaofei will talk about the same love and tenderness.
praise is the power to make a marriage happy.
people who can talk know how to praise others. However, to boast people, it also needs to be moderate and sincere.
boasting for the sake of boasting will only backfire.
No one is a fool. I can tell how sincere there is in the words.
A person who can talk has someone else in his heart
what Cai Kangyong said:
"I don't care about the art of speaking, I care about the way of speaking. The way I speak is to take you to heart. "
Tao is different from art.
skill is a skill and a routine, while Tao is fundamental.
in life, when we praise a person for being able to speak, it doesn't really mean that he knows many speaking skills and tricks. In the final analysis, it means that this person is tolerant, kind-hearted and can hold others in his heart.
they will put themselves in other people's shoes and create a comfortable atmosphere for conversation.
not to dissolve one's own embarrassment, or to fight for a moment of anger, to embarrass people, or even to hurt others with "thorn" words.
when I watched the wonderful work before, the guest of the goddess was Lin Chi-ling.
program, the host he Jiong asked her, "what is the limit height of a boy you can accept?"
Lin Chi-ling did not answer immediately, but gently replied, "how tall are you?"
he Jing said, "172."
Lin Chi-ling immediately replied, "that would be 172."
in fact, when the program group arranged this question, it was more or less curious and gossiping. Lin Chi-ling could answer it at will according to her own mood, but she took into account the mood of the questioner.
witThe answer not only cleverly resolved the embarrassment, but also made the questioner feel very proud.
in life, we often meet some people who speak harshly.
it is clear that their own words have already embarrassed others, but they do not take it seriously, or even say bluntly, "I am outspoken, you do not mind."
do not realize that the other party has blocked him in his heart.
people who can talk often know how to take each other to heart, and more importantly, they are comfortable and comfortable to get along with them.
American psychologist Gorman once said: "how comfortable you are determines how high you can reach."
the matter of speaking also precipitates a person's fate.
people who can talk, such as spitting roses in their mouth, make people happy and bring each other closer to each other invisibly, while those who can't speak, such as spitting thistles in their mouth, stab others, also damage themselves.
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