It is the greatest blessing in life to have a friend who always warns himself.
the longer you live, the more you experience, the more you understand:
there are many people around you who are flattering, but not many people really care about you and dare to criticize you bluntly.
what they say is really not good-sounding or even easy to turn people over, but looking back and thinking about it, such people are the most sincere.
those who dare to point out your shortcomings and criticize you face to face are the rare mentors in your life.
if you meet, please cherish them, they deserve to know each other for a lifetime.
lies are good to hear, but truth is rare
there is a saying in Di Zi Gui: "I am afraid of reputation, I have heard Xin, I am straight with scholars, and I am on a blind date."
everyone likes to hear words of praise, but the listener should feel guilty rather than complacent.
during the Jin Dynasty, there was a man named Xie Shang who was very sensible from an early age.
when Xie Shang was eight years old, his father, Xie Kui, became a local warden. Many people came to visit Xie's father, and there was an endless stream of guests at home.
when the visiting guests saw that Xie Shang was smart, they asked him questions to test him.
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Xiao Xie was generous and answered fluently, and the guests kept praising him.
Xie Shang knows these compliments very well.
he knows that some people are sincere; some go along out of social scenes; and more people flatter themselves too high in order to please their father.
Xie Shang can't stand the people who flatter him vulgarly, so he wants to find an opportunity to refute them.
once, Xie Shang's family held a banquet and the guests were full.
A guest saw Xie Shang present and said to Xie Kunming:
"after all, like father, like son.
We are resourceful, and the prince is young and smart.
Master Xie is really Yan Hui in the middle of it!
Yan Hui is Confucius' most proud student. Xie Shang knew that he could not compare with Yan Hui, so he immediately stood up and refuted him and said:
"No one in the full seat can match Confucius. Where did Yan Hui come from?"
flattery comes immediately, everyone will say it, the truth is prickly and unlikable, and everyone will shut up.
Shakespeare said: one would rather listen to a hundred beautiful lies than a single straight truth.
if you think about it, it is true.
in the Emperor's New clothes, everyone is praising the emperor's new clothes are really beautiful.
No one wants to let people know that they can't see anything, because it will show that they are incompetent or stupid.
there is only one child, who said innocently, "but he is not wearing any clothes."
when I was young, I only thought the emperor was too stupid, but now when I look at this story, I suddenly realize:
the lie is good, but the truth is rare.
in this life, people have to deal with different people, and there are some people who "only talk to people, but not all their hearts."
and dare to throw your heart, often have you in the heart, but also the most kind and sincere person.
Truth is not only the whip on everyone's way of life, but also the passport to the future.
We should not only have the ability to tell lies, but also the courage to listen to the truth.
the person who dares to criticize you is an important person
the human eye, from the leftmost side of the left eye to the far right side of the right eye, is 180 degrees.
and life is a 360-degree world, so the remaining 180 degrees need guidance.
but "one grain of rice raises a hundred kinds of people", some people are very selfish and only consider their own interests, even if they see your shortcomings, they will cover up the past as if nothing had happened.
and the person who really dares to criticize you publicly is actually a close friend, and he is the one who sincerely hopes for your progress.
Huang Yongyu and Cao Yu are such close friends.
Huang Yongyu admires Mr. Cao Yu's early works such as "thunderstorm", "Sunrise" and "the Field", and many classic lines are memorized.
but Cao Yu did not write a corresponding masterpiece in his later years, and Huang Yongyu regretted the talent of Cao Yu's predecessors.
so he, who is upright, artistic and principled, wrote to Cao Yu:
"you are my highly respected elder, so I should be strict with you!" I didn't like your later play. I didn't like any of them. "
it is commendable that Cao Yu received a slap in the face when he read this letter.
he not only respectfully framed Huang Yongyu's letter and hung it at home to warn himself from time to time, but also wrote a frank reply to Huang Yongyu:
"you encouraged me, you accused me of being empty for nearly 30 years, and I wasted my 'mature middle age' until today, at this age, I began to understand …..."
what is a bosom friend?
Feng Menglong said: "those who tie the knot of kindness and virtue are called bosom friends; those who care for each other are called bosom friends; those who share the same voice are called bosom friends."
the greatest blessing in life is to have a bosom friend who dares to tell you the truth and has a sense of responsibility to you.
just like Tang Taizong and Wei Zheng, a king who calmed the world and a loyal minister who worried about the country and the people, the two worked together, but there were also contradictions.
however, Wei Zheng always exhorted bluntly, often scolded Li Shimin, with no regard for the face of emperors.
at first, Li Shimin was furious and tried to kill Wei Zheng, but when he woke upFang sighed:
"if the husband takes copper as the mirror, he can straighten his clothes; with the ancient times as the mirror, he can know the rise and fall; with the man as the mirror, he can see the gains and losses. Always keep these three mirrors in case you pass. Today, Wei has passed away, so he has died in a mirror! "
most of the time, life is like a flashlight, the road ahead is bright, but the body is always in the dark.
therefore, in this numerous and complicated world, there is a person who can illuminate himself, not one in a million, but also hard to find.
you know, if a person is successful, it is not enough to have applause and flowers, but also need someone to pour cold water on you and "scold" you for making progress.
when you can face up to your shortcomings and constantly improve and improve, this is the real success.
it is said that good medicine is good for disease, and good advice is good for deeds.
the person who dares to criticize you is the important person in your life you are looking for.
accept criticism and become a better self
not long ago, I saw a short story, which was quite meaningful:
there was a young monk in the monastery who had a quarrel with a peasant woman while he was in love, and both scratched each other's faces.
after the old mage learned about the situation, he personally took the little monk to apologize to the peasant woman and sent cloth.
the peasant woman was also embarrassed, saying that she blamed herself for this, and that she should not fight with the little monk who had come to love her.
on the way back to the temple, the old mage didn't notice and tripped over a stone. After picking up the mage, the little monk kicked a few feet at the stone.
the old mage said to the little monk, "the stone was in place, and it didn't move. I stepped on it accidentally. I asked for this stumble. I should apologize to the stone."
the little monk was stupefied for a while, then realized the enlightenment of the mage, blamed himself and said apologetically:
"Master, I was wrong. From now on, I will pay attention to personal cultivation, learn to respect others, influence others, and try not to make mistakes or make fewer mistakes."
in the journey of life, there are roads extending in all directions and rugged paths, but most of the mud is stepped on by yourself.
it was not trouble that found us, but we found unnecessary trouble.
if you can meet someone who points out your fault directly and reminds you kindly, there will be fewer detours in life.
like an actor in the circle to say:
"people are thin-skinned when they are young. When I was in my 20s, people said there was something wrong with my acting. I thought it was the biggest insult to me.
now when I think about it, those negative words are very good for me. The older you get, the more you will cherish those who help you with your problems. "
I think so.
those who boast about you at first sight, stay away as soon as possible.
you are really naive to take other people's compliments too seriously.
there are not many people who can know each other deeply in this life, and no one knows what will happen in the future.
in a long life, it is the greatest blessing in life to have a friend who always warns himself.
one book a week, no matter how busy it is, don't forget to recharge it.